Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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