is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
