Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
