Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
false alarm. still invincible.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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