Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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