I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
