I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
