Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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