OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize