Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
