end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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