i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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