I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
