Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
