Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize