I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
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I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize