i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
