Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
