But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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