Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize