at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
