ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
