I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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