I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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