I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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