oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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