"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
