its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He? As in you personified your dick?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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