My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize