So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
