Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
