On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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