I CAN MOONWALK!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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