What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
