bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize