i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
