Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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