PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
