guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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