you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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