Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
