i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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