You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize