like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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