I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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