can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
