So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize