Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
