Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
