so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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