I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
