honey bunches of taint.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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