Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
