She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
