Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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