He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
