just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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