Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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