You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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