This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
