how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
