He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
