I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
