he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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