Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
