Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think your dad took our porno
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
